Just As We Are

Last Sunday, Travis and I headed out with baby B and Scout for a week of traveling and study leave. The last time I was able to take some continuing education time was last February for the APCE annual conference in Orlando, Florida...the conference in 2014 is in San Jose, CA, and I'm wondering if I'll be able to swing a trip to NoCal this winter. :) I don't think Travis ever took study leave while we were in Greenwood, so when the opportunity came up to travel to Mo Ranch this fall for their Couples in Ministry Conference, we jumped at the chance to go! Our friends, Clayton and Kate, developed and started this conference about 7 years ago, and it is such a fruitful time to spend with your spouse and other couples in ministry...as one friend said, it's great to spend time with "people who get it." 

We get asked a lot, by friends, family, and people we randomly meet, if working together really works. Travis and I answer resoundingly, "Yes," each time. When the time came to look for our first call in parish ministry, we knew that God was calling us to serve somewhere in the same church. This is tricky in our Presbyterian tradition for lots of reasons - salaries, pensions, sharing 1 position,"two-for-one," etc. But we were willing to answer this call and bravely worked to serve our first church together as Co-Associate Pastors. As newlyweds (our first anniversary was 2 months into our first call) and new ministers, we learned so much about each other, about boundaries about work at home, about communicating and triangulating, and on and on. For our second call, we weren't sure if we wanted to serve the same church again, so we filed our PIFs (fancy acronym for resumes) separately and as a clergy couple. FPC Canadian immediately matched with us on our little online dating system, because they were looking for a clergy couple. And, much like a good pair of boots or jeans, the fit was just right. So, here we are, with more responsibilities and more to learn about God's workings here and about God's workings in our life together. 

Over the last week, we soaked up the wisdom, experience, and "I can't believe that happened" moments with other couples in ministry. We shared our call story to joint ministry - the good, bad, and the ugly - in a safe place with folks who understood and could respond helpfully. Our fearless leaders, Amy and Derek, centered us in the story of Jesus calming the storm from Mark 4, and led us through conversation after conversation about expectations in life and ministry. For the first time, I noticed the phrase in verse 36, "they took him with them in the boat, just as he was." Earlier in the chapter, Jesus had been teaching the crowds of people in parables, and, as anyone who has ever taught any kind of lesson knows, he was exhausted at the end of the day. So, the disciples took him, just as he was, into the boat at nightfall (a dangerous time to sail), and he immediately fell asleep. As a group, we wondered what "just as he was" meant for Jesus and for us. Sure, he was tired from teaching and ministering to the crowds of people...but was Jesus so tired that the disciples carried him? Was he grouchy and hungry? Was he reflective, contemplative, and fresh out of words? 

Immediately after arriving on the other side of the sea of Galilee, Jesus heals the Gerasene demoniac. Our new friend, John, an 83-year-old lay minister (Methodist) from Lubbock, TX, commented that Jesus needed to sleep to rest up for the confrontation and healing. With this in mind, I haven't been able to get Jesus' state of "just as he was" out of my mind. We are called to minister to God's people just as we are...some days energized, other days exhausted, wondering how we might go on. Some days, I really need to shut my office door, while other days, the door is revolving and my desk chair is cold. But God is continuing to call my whole self to the work of this congregation and community, just as I am, and God prepares me for the next day by giving me exactly what I need to be ready. It's so easy to become frustrated when things are left undone, or to be grouchy because too much as been done...and yet, the storm is somehow calmed in the midst of it all. 

Travis and I have promised each other to not bite off more than we (and the session and the congregation) can chew - and it's hard. The Spirit has been preparing this congregation and us, even before we arrived in Canadian, for new things together, from adding structure to church school and worship to discerning some fresh ways to be missional together. But, we have to embark just as we are, not rushing ahead, taking time to listen and prepare, and hoping for low winds and smooth sailing. 

My prayer these days and into the rapidly approaching Advent season, is that we recognize where we are, and that we realize that it's ok to be there just as we are, for good and gracious God is right here with us. May this be true for our families and friends, too.